Lost
by Annie3
Summary: What if Scarlett did not marry Frank? What if she did lose Tara?


_**Lost**_

_**Chapter One**_

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Scarlett sat slumped in her seat as the train bound for Jonesborough rattled uncomfortably along the dusty tracks, her forehead pressed against the window, her breath, coming out as inconsistent sighs, fogging the glass. She cared not how unlady like she looked, in fact she cared for nothing anymore. She felt as if she'd lived a million years of disappointment in the past two days, as if nothing would ever be good again.

She'd been so sure that what she had planned would be a success. She'd been so conceited in her belief in the strength of her own feminie charms that she'd been certain she could have exhorted the money out of Rhett. But she'd failed. She was disgusted in herself but perhaps she could have handled that failure as she had handled many unpleasant things lately had it not been for the fact that this failure was about to cost her everything.

Tara. Merely thinking the name bought tears to her eyes and she let them fall, heedless to the fact that she was in a public place. She was about to lose Tara. Lose the land on which she'd been born, taken her first step, ridden her first pony, found her first love. The land which she had been working like a slave these past months with a passion for it that was characteristically Irish as Rhett had scathingly pointed out. The land which right now was home and refuge not only to herself but to her father and sisters, her son, Ashley, Melly and little Beau not to mention Mammy, Dilcey, Prissy, Pork and Will who were not technically family but no less welcome, in fact more so than some of the others. Tara was their only source of food, they had no money and so could only eat what they managed to grow from the dry, hard, cracked, red Georgia soil which was a fine kind for growing cotton but which could be cruel to vegetables.

What on earth was she supposed to do now? She had left Tara only a few days ago, carefree and confidant gaily assuring everyone that she would return with the needed money. How was she to tell them that she had let them all down? That she didn't have the money, that there was no hope and they would all soon have to leave to make way for the hateful, upstart Jonas Wilkerson and his white trash wife?

And disappointment aside where would they all go now? Sure she owned half of Miss Pitty's house by grace of Charles' will and had every right to take up residence there but that just wasn't an option. The house was a small one and simply didn't have room enough for the entourage of people she would need to bring with her. For how could she possibly abandon all those people who had worked alongside her, albeit grudgingly, for all those months simply so that she and her son would be comfortably accommodated?

Melanie and Ashley could go and live with Aunt Pity. As much as the thought of parting with Ashley sent a painful, dull throb coursing through her chest she knew it was the only viable option. She was also mindful of the promise she'd made him in the orchard that day which seemed so long ago. Besides, it would be three less people for her to worry about. But what of the other eight plus herself? Where was there for them to turn?

Scarlett shuddered visibly and slumped further in her seat allowing her grief to pull her further into the depths of despair than she had ever encountered in her life. Torrents of if onlys flooded her mind. If only mother was alive. She'd be able to make everything seem alright. If only Pa would become himself again. He would lift the burden from her too young shoulders which shouldn't have to bear the responsibility of head of a family. If only Rhett had given her the money…

Rhett. She'd hate him till she died. How could he be so cruel? So coarse? He could have given her the money. She didn't believe him for a minute when he said he couldn't withdraw from his funds. A man like him has a million places he could source money from. He was being deliberately hurtful, spiteful and mean. She'd told him what was at stake, she'd begged him to help, she'd lowered the bar of her pride and offered herself to him for the money, a blow from which she wasn't certain she'd recover. And yet he'd still refused her and he'd laughed as he did it. He'd known what she was going to say, known he wouldn't give her the money yet he let her go on to feed his own sick amusements.

The anger these thoughts created fuelled Scarlett's resolve. It gave her energy, the crazed energy of one who had lost everything, had nothing left to lose and was willing to anything now regardless of consequences or reputation.

She would find a way to get the money. She had to. There simply wasn't an alternative. Without the money her entire family would be turned out of there home and sent out into nothingness and a thousand different dangers which could befall them.

The taxes were due in one week.

'Well, that gives me a week.' thought Scarlett with a determination and assurance she was trying her best to truly feel.

'I'll think of something. I'll think of something. I'll think of something.'

She repeated the words to herself as the train squealed signifying that it was about to come to a stop at the station. Her mantra echoing in her head Scarlett prepared herself to disembark the train realising as she did so that she had come home a day earlier than she was expected and had forgotten to inform Will of her change in plans. She had been so distressed about the money that such practicalities had entirely slipped her mind.

Dully she registered this new difficulty in line with all the others which were already loaded uncomfortably in her mind.

She stepped off the train, her small bag in hand wishing now that she hadn't sent Mammy home without her the previous day. But she hadn't been able to stand the questioning looks, the mumbled remarks or worse the uncertain gazes any longer. She knew it would be best for her to step into the station and kindly coerce one of the young lads to go to Tara and inform them of her situation so that Will could come and pick her up but she was feeling reckless as one often does when they've suffered as she had. So she decided to walk. It was barely five miles after all and it was only mid morning she'd reach home well before it even begun to get dark. Besides, the walk would give her a chance to compose herself, think of a new way to obtain the money for the taxes and of course, work out how she was supposed to break the overwhelmingly distressing news to her family.

Scarlett had been walking for about a mile or so she reckoned and yet nothing had come to her. She kept trying to ignite the indignant fire within herself by remembering Rhett's conduct towards her at the jailhouse but oddly this was only serving to make her feel, if possible, even more dejected.

After all, she truly had supposed them to be friends. Despite their frequent heated arguments she really was fond of Rhett, somehow had felt he'd understood her more than anyone else she'd ever known. It was as though she was transparent when it came to him. He could read her like a book and she'd thought he'd taken pleasure in doing so. He had always enjoyed their fiery exchanges, that was evident from the fact that it was always he himself who had provoked them. And it was always he who had sought her company. And what of that curious and passionate declaration of love he had made to her that night at Rough and Ready? She had certainly never believed what he'd said to be fact. He didn't love her but she was sure that he liked her. So why wouldn't he help her?

Scarlett's head was hung low as she dragged her feet across the warmth earth, dragging herself closer to the home she was about to lose. Her thoughts a myriad of sadness, loss and confusion particularly pertaining to Rhett's treatment of her. She wanted to be angry at him, wanted to feel that same passionate hatred she had on the train but she was finding it impossible. She could feel nothing but sad.

She was so lost in her own thoughts, so busy brooding on the uncertain future that she did not notice that she was being approached.

Two men, unshaven and foul smelling with the distinctive air of outdoor living about them wearing an eclectic mixture of Union and Confederate uniform garb had seen her walking alone from where they had been squatting within the trees.

They came upon her stealthily and Scarlett barely had time to register them in front of her before she was attacked.

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_Okay, so I know I shouldn't be posting a new story when I already have two on the go but I really felt like writing this one and I couldn't wait. I promise neither Absent or Mutual will suffer for this story. I really have just posted this so that you all may let me know if it is worth continuing. I know this first chapter is short but it is necessary to set the scene for the events which, obviously divert astronomically from those in Gone With the Wind. Please let me know what you think as I do have the plot planned out and as I'm on holiday soon I'm anticipating a lot of happy writing hours on the beach where there will be updates galore. Also, I know I've already written a story starting from this exact point but it is one of my favourite points and I promise you 'Lost' couldn't be more different from 'A Dire Situation'. Thank you for reading, please review. Oh and also, just a general question to the community; why is the Gone With the Wind category under movie when we all know it to be a book?_


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